This pie is inspired by Waitress the Musical’s Dr. Pomatter, who before having met Jenna and her biblical pies, has not indulged in sugar for years. This pie would be perfect for pre-Jenna Dr. Pomatter, because this pie is tarter than it is sweet. The way the plums make your mouth pucker makes you forget there is even sugar in this pie at all!

Jenna: “My momma used to say you’ll live to 100 if you give up all the things that’ll make you want to live to be 100.”

​From Waitress the Musical

Get your puckin' plumtastic plums...

...pit them and halve them...

mix in sugar... butter... flour... (actually just sugar and some thickening agents).

Assemble your first pie shell. Add crust dust (from the crust fairy). Or unicorn.
​"She's a unicorn!" -Says Sara B and Jessie Mueller. All the time. About each other.

Ladle your wet juicy plums and their plumtastic juices into your 1st pie shell. 

Dot plums with sugar... butter... flour... actually, just butter.

Cover plums with second pie crust, slit, and sugar. Then bake to perfection.

MMMMM... Then slice and eat. And dream of Dr. Pomatter. 

For a pie created by Jenna in such negativity and despair,  it sureeeeeee is delicious!
​

"Jenna: I don’t need no baby, I don’t want no trouble, I just wanna make pies, that’s all I wanna do… make pies.
Becky: Hun, you okay?
Jenna: Shhhh… I’m inventin’ a new pie in my head. Tomorrow’s blue plate special. I’m callin’ it I Don’t Want Earl’s Baby Pie.
Dawn: I don’t think we can put that on the menu board hun.
Jenna: Then I’ll just call it Bad Baby Pie.
Becky: What’s in it hunnie?
Jenna: It’s a quiche with egg, brie cheese, with a smoked ham center.
Becky: Sounds good baby.
Jenna: I ain’t never gonna get away from Earl now."

​From Waitress (the movie), 2007

Get your eggs, smoked ham (for the smoked ham center), and brie cheese.

Assemble your pie crust.

Bake your crust blind. Then chop your ham...

...and slice your brie.

Whisk those eggs up.

Be sure to lay your slices of brie cheese in a perfect pinwheel like Keri Russell does in the film.

Smoked ham is supposed to be in the center, but I like my ham a little more evenly dispersed.

Pour your egg mixture in...

...and marvel in its beauty while also thinking about how miserable it would be to be pregnant with Earl's baby.

Mmmmmmm.... but you've momentarily  forgotten how miserable you are, and how horrible your life will be, and how you ain't ever gonna get away from Earl now... because this pie IS THAT GOOD.